Tuesday, September 6, 2011

School Daze

As most of you are now aware, I have some paranoia issues. And OCD. And probably a dose of ADD thrown in for good measure. At any rate, because I’m married to a man that has yet to be run off by my...quirks...he takes my freak outs about various situations (mostly imagined, but could totally possibly be real & happen, so it totally counts as legitimate!) in stride. Usually he's very supportive & understanding. 

However, sometimes he doesn't fully grasp the severity of the potential threat about which I'm panicking, and thus ends up being snarky and sarcastic instead of supportive. I guess no one's perfect. Anyway, every year since my kids were old enough to go to school, on the very first day, I would either walk them to the bus stop, or when they got too "old" to be escorted, I would watch compulsively from our kitchen window to make sure they did indeed get on the bus and not kidnapped by murderers intent on abducting my children and throwing them into the back of a rape van so they could be sold off into slavery never to be seen or heard from again. 

Don’t ask me why it’s only a First Day of School (FDoS) freak out and not year round. It just is. And it’s vital that I physically see them get on the school bus. Because what if those murderers tried to grab them or lure them away with candy or puppies and I hadn’t noticed because I just assumed they wouldn’t have any problems? Would that be any comfort while they were being repeatedly drugged & tortured in some dirty, smelly shack? NO, it most certainly would not. Never mind the fact that the bus stop is literally 10 steps from our door. Or that even if I did see puppy & candy-wielding murderers abducting my kids, I'd still be too far away to stop them. Or that both our kids are black belts. Or that my 13 year old son is bigger & looks older than some of the 16 year olds in our neighborhood, and that my daughter dresses like such a freak I'm fairly certain most folks in the area are afraid of her. It’s possible, and that posibility is all that's needed to freak me out. 

However, this year because of my work schedule, I was unable to perform my annual task of making sure they weren't kidnapped by murderers. My beloved husband pre-empted my inevitable freak out & reassured me that he would take over this duty and be ever diligent to make sure they made it on the school bus safely. I went to work, my mind at ease knowing my husband (who is also a 2nd degree black belt, thus much more capable of catching and disabling said murderers) had taken me seriously and would prevent any wrong doing from happening. I should have noticed him rolling his eyes...

So, when I got to work this morning, upon opening my email, I received this from my beloved:

"The kids are off to school. Both got on their busses okay and only had to fight off 2 or three waves of puppy and candy wielding kidnapper ninjas before doing so. Here is a picture I made for you to remember the kids' first day of school this year! Have a Superwonderful day!

P.S. Just be aware this is an artist's rendering of this morning's events, not an actual photograph. Also it is only *based*on actual events...some liberties may have been taken, and names have been changed to protect the innocent."


Today was also Harry’s first day back at school. He’s gone back to get his Masters so he can teach Middle/Junior High School kids. Why he would voluntarily work with hormonal, newly-minted teenagers is beyond me. Although he puts up with me on a regular basis, so I imagine teenagers are probably not as exigent (thought I’d use an SAT word since school is back in session and everything...I had to look it up, hence the link...). 

Since he is making his foray back into school after a somewhat lengthy (*cough* 18 years *cough*) absence, Harry was worried about being so much older than the other students on campus, but I reassured him that it wouldn’t be that big a deal. Of course he’d make friends and fit in! How could he not? After all, those kids are going to need someone to buy them beer! For some reason, that sentiment wasn’t as comforting as I expected.

But, just as I assumed, he had no problems at school. He even had a nice little exchange with one of his professors! Yay, Harry! Good job!



  1. I love this blog so much. You two kill me. I secretly wish I were a Warren. It's such an amazingly sweet, off-kilter band of miscreants. ;-)

  2. Oh my, this post just made my shitty Wednesday SOOOO much better!! I heart you both!

  3. Haha this is adorable Seoul. You are the best and it sounds like your family is, too. :)